It’s often said there are a hundred reasons not to do something. Well, when it comes to running, people seem to have a thousand illegitimate reasons not to trot, backed by strange assumptions, faulty logic, and absolutely no evidence. To help separate running fact from fiction, I’m here to bust the top five running myths.
1. Running is bad for your knees
Non-runners love to “play the hits” and they’re sure to hit you over the head with the disingenuous, rather lackluster not-so-hit single: “Running is bad for your knees!” The song is repetitive, overplayed, and the chorus of “I’ll only run if someone’s chasing me” is quite stale. They ought to come up with a better hook because their baiting is catching nothing but unwanted feelings, and their fishing expedition for compliments on being considered witty is coming up empty.
You’ll know it’s time to stop listening to their ballad when the bridge “I feel like I’m dying when I run” hits. Quick, drop your earbuds before the refrain. The only refrain you want is to refrain from engaging with them any longer. Fortunately, when their beat drops, it’s sure to fall on deaf ears and fall flat on the charts.
Sure, running can lead to knee injuries—if you’re using basketball shoes, or running shoes with no stability when you’ve got flat feet and no visible arch. Then, yes, your knees are in for a world of hurt and so is your achy, breaky heart.
2. Running is boring
Sure, running can become boring if you run the same old routes in the same outdated pair of shoes wearing the same ancient clothes. That’d be like making love in only one position for the rest of your life. It may get the job done, but you’ll be miserable. No wonder your relationship is floundering. Wait, are we still talking about running? Of course!
Just as in the bedroom, variety is the spice of life, and on the roads or trails, you’ve got to spice things up by revitalizing your running shoe rotation with new colorways, heel-toe drops, stack heights, and brands. Fellow runners will admire your killer outfits and new pairs of the hottest shoes, but beware: your significant other won’t be so thrilled you purchased yet another pair of shoes. Hey, there are much worse vices out there; at least you’re not a sex addict—not that it’s immoral, rather, you’re boring in bed, remember?
3. Running is expensive
Actually, there’s a pretty low barrier to entry to get started with running: You buy a pair of running shoes, a couple pairs of shorts and shirts, and a 3-pack of socks, and you’re good to go. Ah, but how quickly we forget about the second myth of running. To prevent running from getting boring, that’s when the costs start to add up. As your miles stack up, so will the $100 bills. And somebody’s got to pay the bills for your second, third, fourth, and fifth pairs of shoes. Uh oh, don’t look online now, but your favorite brand just released their much-anticipated carbon fiber plated racer.
For everything, there is a season, and would you just look at the time of year: the temperatures are starting to drop. What a bright time, it’s the right time…to purchase a new running jacket, tights, gloves and a hat, for yourself of course. You’ll get cheaper gifts for friends and family. Who do you think labeled Christmas as the most wonderful time of the year? Running companies! Hmm, maybe we should just skip this one and move on to number four.
4. Running barefoot will reduce injuries
Let me start off by saying, even if this myth were true (it’s not), I still wouldn’t run barefoot. Much more than half the fun of running is buying endless amounts of running shoes month after month. Oh, and running barefoot looks stupid. And think about how gross your feet will be as soon as you step on the pavement. You think you have a lot of blisters, skin peeling, and rashes on your feet now, just wait until you traverse over rocks, glass, used needles, and any other hazard lying in your running path.
And don’t even get me started on Vibram FiveFingers “barefoot” footwear. Those revolting atrocities will never be considered shoes and you’ll never find those within a thousand feet of my home. Unless, of course, a neighbor buys a pair. Then I suppose I’d have to break into their home and steal the monstrosities—to recycle, of course, I wouldn’t throw them out, I’m not a monster.
“With the way runners talk about their running, you’d think they summited Mount Everest without a Sherpa.”
5. You’re not a runner until you…
You do realize running is just moving at a slightly faster rate than walking, right? All that we runners do is simply lift our legs just a tiny bit higher and swing the arms a tad bit more.
You’d be forgiven if you bought into this one. With the way runners talk about their running, you’d think they summited Mount Everest without a Sherpa. (Shoutout to Brooks’ Sherpa shorts). Alas, we simply jog around our neighborhood—for however long and however often we damn well please—and call it a day. That’s it. That’s all that qualifies someone to be a runner. You don’t have to run a marathon or a 5k or any race. You don’t have to run at a certain pace or for a set distance. Simply put one foot in front of the other at a slightly elevated pace. Congrats!
Time to run
Now that we’ve separated running fact from fiction and debunked silly running myths, you’ll see running isn’t so complicated after all. So, it’s time to step outside your front door and hit the open road for a run. Of course, just make sure you don’t run at the wrong time of day. And ensure you choose the right shoes and outfit. Did you remember to fuel properly to support your training? Wait, you’re not overtraining, are you? Well, I suppose there’s nothing worse than undertraining.
