The holiday calendar and the new running shoe release calendar have more in common than you think. The launch of new running shoes doesn’t entail vacation days, special traditions or meals, nor is there any historical significance, yet, they are the holiest days of the year to runners. And the holiest gifts are the running gifts we give ourself throughout the year.
[Cheesy infomercial voice] “What if I told you that you don’t have to wait until December to celebrate Christmas? Christmas in July? You bet! And in every other month of the year, too!”
Quite the stocking stuffer
New running shoe release day is Christmas Eve and the day you receive the pair is Christmas morning. You add the running shoe to your wish list and list yourself as your not-so-secret Santa. And just like Xmas morning, you open “gifts” you absolutely love and others you despise.
“There’s no greater sound than the noise of the FedEx or UPS truck putting on the brakes to stop the ‘sleigh’ at your home.”
However, the stark difference between the days is that you don’t yet know if you’ll love the new pair of shoes; don’t throw out that packaging just yet. Similar to that new bicycle, skateboard, scooter, or rollerblades you received as a kid, you have to lace up the shoes and take them for a test ride.
Get in the holiday spirit
Christmas isn’t nearly as unique without the abundance of special smells, scenes, sounds, and tastes. There’s the distinct aroma of the tree’s pine needles (unless it’s a fake) wrapped in bright holiday lights that illuminate the room as your favorite holiday classic plays in the background — you can’t go wrong with Elf, Home Alone, or It’s a Wonderful Life. The pleasant sounds of soothing vocals and dreamy melodies from Christmas song classics evoke strong feelings of nostalgia as you enjoy the sweet, buttery taste of chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Does anyone still do this? Has anyone ever done this? Fine, then eat a damn candy cane; not the weird flavored ones, though.
Christmas came early
And just as you joyfully utilize all your senses on Christmas morning, the release day of new running shoes is a prime opportunity to delight your senses. There’s no greater sound to the ears than the noise of the FedEx or UPS truck putting on the brakes to stop the “sleigh” at your home. It’s enough to get you pumped to run through a brick wall. The driver leaves the packages at your doorstep as you eagerly wait for them to walk away before running out and grabbing the gifts. They definitely can’t see you watching them through the window.
The moment finally arrives when you unwrap the package that is the holy grail. Wait, wrong package. That’s the running shorts and hat you ordered. Ok, this is the one you’ve been waiting for. Nope, that’s yet another hydration vest and bladder. You have to somehow summon the strength after your long runs to clean that bladder to prevent mold!
Finally, you find the right package. You peel the pesky tape off the top and side of the box, open the shoe box, and voila: an entire world of training or racing possibilities await in one pair of running shoes. Behold the beautiful masterpiece as you hold the newest running shoes in your hands. What a gorgeous sight it is! Actually, if you’re being honest, this colorway kind of looked better online.
“Unlike receiving Christmas gifts you hate, you’re allowed to return the lackluster pair of shoes that feel like running on the coal you found in your stocking that year when you were a real shit to your dad.”
New running shoes, who dis?
There’s nothing edible, but that thick white midsole looks just like the extra thick layer of vanilla icing you spread on gingerbread cookies. You refuse the temptation to taste it, as the distinct, pungent aroma of Peba foam wafts from the shoe permeating your nostrils, reminding you it’s an object composed of synthetic materials. Regardless, nothing beats that new running shoe smell. You take a minute or two to run your fingers over the shoe, pausing to feel the soft texture of the mesh upper, the squishiness (or lack thereof) of the foam, and all the grooves of the rubber on the outsole.
Of course, unlike receiving Christmas gifts you hate, like that hideous striped polo shirt, you’re well within your rights to return the lackluster pair of shoes that feel like running on the coal you found in your stocking that one year when you were a real shit to your dad.
It’s the thought that counts?
The greatest part about new running shoe releases is the frequency and unpredictability! Christmas happens the same one day a year, but new running shoes release practically every week! And then you remember you don’t have to wait even a week for the next release; there are dozens of other running shoes already available that you’ve never tried.
You glance at the calendar and realize Christmas is coming up soon, but you forgot to get dad a gift. He’s big into running too, but if you buy him a pair that leaves less money to spend on yourself. Screw family, the true meaning of Christmas is about capitalism and greed. You’re a selfish jerk and buy two pairs for yourself. He’ll get a pair of running socks instead. Merry Christmas, indeed!
